


When the Snowflakes Fall, the Streets Get Brighter

by paperbluehyacinth (infiniteleecity)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 00s MuBank Collab as an Idol Group, Angst, Character Death, Christmas fic, Idol Hyunjin, M/M, Subtle Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:20:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28189848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infiniteleecity/pseuds/paperbluehyacinth
Summary: Hwang Hyunjin finds himself reminiscing the last five Christmas Eves as he goes back to the place he last saw Lee Minho.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han & Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39
Collections: STAY CAROLS 2020





	When the Snowflakes Fall, the Streets Get Brighter

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Stay Carols. I haven't been a big fan of SKZ for long (just got into them this year) so I'm sorry if the characterization of the characters is far off from how they really are. This is a work of fiction so please note that however they are written here do not reflect their personalities irl. 
> 
> But I joined this fic fest to support a friend. uwu
> 
> I used the 00s collab stage in MuBank from last year and made them Hyunjin's idol group in this fic and just added Felix.
> 
> The title was lifted from lyrics of Lucy's song 'Heater'  
> \----------------------  
> Original Prompt: the dance studio is lonely on Christmas eve, and Hyunjin dances there alone as he remembers minho and celebrates his first christmas eve without him

**_Is Hwang Hyunjin's hiatus turning permanent — what happened to the idol we haven't heard from in a year?_ **

_ Hwang Hyunjin's agency confirmed the idol's temporary hiatus a year ago just before the Christmas concerts. Though rumours of a comeback had been going around, no one has seen or heard from the young idol in a year. It makes fans wonder if Hwang Hyunjin will ever return. The reason behind the hiatus is still unknown since the agency is being tight-lipped but the fans have had their theories—  _

"Stop listening to that," Felix, Hyunjin's teammate said as he walked inside the room. He took the remote control from Hyunjin and turned the television off. Hyunjin sighed.

"I can’t help it when that’s what’s playing on t.v.," Hyunjin said. Felix rolled his eyes and sat down on the seat beside his friend. "Are you going home for Christmas?" Felix asked. He took the one book sitting on top of the table to see if he could read it. 

Hyunjin, too busy scrolling through his phone, didn't answer immediately. It was only after a minute or two before he registered that Felix even asked him a question. "Jisung's going to pick me up tomorrow, and we'll go home together," Hyunjin answered.

"I didn't know you were still friends," Felix said, "I mean after what happened -" "We're working it out," Hyunjin interrupted.

Felix laughed awkwardly before putting the book down, "That's good to hear. You're all each other have anyway.” . 

Hyunjin smiled at him and continued looking through his phone. 

Felix didn’t ask any more questions, or even try to engage conversation. It wasn’t that he wasn’t close to Hyunjin — they were actually fairly close compared to how Hyunjin was with their other teammates — but after what happened a year ago, it was harder to communicate with Hyunjin. No matter how much Felix wanted to become closer to him, it was easier to let him be and let the situation take its course. Felix knew Hyunjin just needed more time. 

"Bomin and I are going to watch a film tonight? Do you want to join us?" Felix asked; this was his way of trying. Hyunjin looked at him but shook his head. "I have to go to the dance studio. Our manager said I need to get some dancing done, so I won’t be rusty when I come back," Hyunjin explained.

“I can come with you. I’m meeting Bomin at the company.” 

“I’m not using the company studio,” Hyunjin admitted. Felix stared at him wondering what he meant and when he finally understood, he released a silent “Oh!” 

"Are you ready?" he asked. 

Hyunjin looked through his phone but was barely registering what he was reading. Instead, he was thinking of what Felix just asked. After a few breaths of silence, he answered, "I don't think I'll ever be."

* * *

The sky was gloomy but there was no rain or snow, and the air was cold. Hyunjin shivered as he removed his coat entering the dance studio. He had expected it to be devoid of people, all of them in the dance studio already, practising, but once he opened the door, the dancers were still in the hall finishing their lunch. 

There was an awkward silence when people realized who he was and then after a minute, whispers erupted. 

He hadn't been seen for a year, and now he was suddenly here. Hyunjin didn’t have time to think about what the tabloids would say because he heard a friend of his (who was also part owner of the dance studio) shouting to the dancers to get out of his way. 

"Don't you have things to do?" Changbin shouted to the people around Hyunjin. They spread out, shooting Changbin evil glares. A few of them still had their phones out, probably wanting to be the first people to post about Hyunjin being back in public.

"Sorry about that," Changbin said. "Should've told you we had a late lunch," he added. Hyunjin shrugged, "It can't be helped. I have to show myself someday, anyway."

"That's no reason to spoil Christmas Eve for you," Changbin said. Hyunjin just smiled — Christmas Eve had already been spoiled a year ago anyway. "I reserved Room B for you but if you want another room, I'll find one. It was just the farthest away from the people," Hyunjin stopped. He hadn't been in that studio since a year ago. Changbin didn't notice him stop and kept talking to himself while walking towards the room. When he realized Hyunjin hadn't been beside him, he looked back at his friend with a sad look.

"Should I get a new room?" Changbin asked. Hyunjin shook his head.

"I have to face it," Hyunjin muttered. Changbin nodded and walked ahead to Room B, waiting for Hyunjin to follow.

* * *

Changbin had left him as soon as they got to the room which Hyunjin was thankful for. He didn't know what to say to Changbin anyway, and he was more scared that he'd ask him again if he was alright with this set-up.  _ People should stop worrying about him; he didn't deserve it. _

The room was empty. It was only him, reflected in all the mirrors around the room but still he could see him, smell him, feel him —  _ Lee Minho _ .

He was so present in the room even if he wasn't there. Hyunjin felt his heart constrict at the general thought of him at this dance studio. He wanted to curse.

God, he didn't even realize how hurt he was — how sad he really was. So many happy memories were here but Hyunjin had already associated them with grief now that all he could do was cry. He felt his knees buckle as he sank to the floor. The tears he had been holding on for a year started falling down, an endless stream of sadness.

For the first time in a year, he found himself crying.

* * *

**_Year 1. Christmas Eve_ **

Minho was preparing food in the kitchen while Hyunjin and Jisung were teasing each other in the backyard. He looked out of the window to see the two of them throwing food at each other. Minho shook his head as he continued to season the salad.

After he finished the salad, he took out three cans of root beer from the refrigerator and placed them beside the plate of chicken sandwiches. He placed the plate on top of the salad bowl and carried it with one hand, while the other hand held the three cans.

Minho was just trying to open the door of the house when it opened for him.

"Call for help, will you?" Hyunjin said as he took the salad bowl and the plate of sandwiches from Minho.

"I didn't think either of you would notice me with your bickering," Minho teased. They walked towards where Jisung was, already looking at something on his phone.

"You know I'd drop everything, even Jisung, to help you," Hyunjin said as he placed the food in front of Jisung.

Jisung rolled his eyes, putting his phone down.

"How disgustingly romantic you two," he said. Minho placed the cans of root beer on the table and took his seat between Hyunjin and Jisung.

"You have to find someone already, Sung," Minho teased. Jisung rolled his eyes.

"As if I have time for that. We're moving to Seoul," he said. "Besides, they're probably much better choices in the city," Jisung added, opening his can. Minho laughed while Hyunjin just shook his head at his friend.

"Do you think things will be different when we move to Seoul?" Hyunjin asked.

"Of course it would be. We'll just all be busy working," Jisung said. "We'll start to become mature human beings — no more late night shenanigans." Jisung said, eyeing Minho in particular.

"You two are such a bad influence," Minho coughed out as he opened his can of root beer. Jisung proceeded to eat his sandwich while Hyunjin just dug into the salad.

"Eat!” Jisung said throwing Hyunjin a grape. “You don't have to diet yet until you debut," he remarked. "Will you stop wasting the food? Those aren't cheap," Minho complained.

"What would you be doing in Seoul, Minho?" Jisung asked. Hyunjin glared at him. Jisung and he had both got job offers in Seoul. The only reason why Minho was coming with them was because they both insisted he come. Minho was just going to Seoul unprepared.

Minho shrugged, "I'll find something. I can cook, I can dance. I think I have enough chances to find a job at least," he answered. "I can also just take care of both of you, just make sure to pay me," Minho joked.

"We'll pay your rent for you," Jisung chided.

"Promise you both will not lose contact, okay?" Hyunjin said.

"We're going to live in the same apartment. How much more contact do you want?" Jisung asked.

Hyunjin smiled, "I mean, we'll still tell each other stuff every night. Complain about work together. Never keep secrets --"

"Act all lovey-dovey even when we're not dating?" Jisung interrupted. "Oh wait, you two are dating, never mind," Jisung sighed, chugging his drink.

Hyunjin glared at him but continued, "Just keep being there for each other. It's us against the world now,"

"Just Seoul, love. We're not that big yet," Minho said.

"I'll be needing you now more than ever, both of you," Hyunjin said. Minho grabbed his hand in comfort while Jisung pretended to make his sobbing noises, throwing Hyunjin an unused tissue paper.

"Sorry, I'm allergic to sentimentality," Jisung said.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes again, biting on his sandwich. Minho raised his can of root beer and started saying, "A toast to the three of us."

Hyunjin raised his can. Jisung shook his can first to check if there was still a sufficient amount of drink inside to make a toast. Satisfied, he raised it as well.

Minho turned to Jisung, "To our soon-to-be bigshot-director." Jisung nodded. Minho looked at Hyunjin, "To the idol who will make a breakthrough in the world," Hyunjin smiled, tipping his can towards Minho.

Minho smiled before adding, "And to me, who'll work hard whatever happens. Here's to trying, to achieving and to creating." He raised his can of root beer in the middle and the other two clunk theirs together before all of them chugged it.

"Let's conquer Seoul together!" Jisung shouted, finishing his drink. He stood up when his can was emptied and walked towards the house saying he'll get a few more.

Hyunjin scooted his chair closer to Minho, taking his hands in his. "Are you sure you're not regretting your decision in joining us?" Hyunjin asked. Minho shook his head.

"I'd rather be with you than with anyone," Minho said, ruffling Hyunjin's hair. "Besides, someone has to watch out for you. Those fans are going to snatch you once you've shown your face," Hyunjin laughed, laying his head on Minho's shoulder. He kept their fingers intertwined as he said, "I'm yours, Minho. You don't have to worry about that," Hyunjin said.

"I know. I just want to be there for you, and for Jisung. Like you said, it's us against the world now," Minho remarked.

Hyunjin smiled uncertainly, thinking about the future they were all going to trek together. "We can do it, with the three of us together," Hyunjin said. 

"Of course we will, we're invincible."

They heard Jisung's footsteps coming closer and accompanied by a low whistle, "Okay. Stop being disgusting, you two. I'm still here," Jisung said, prying them away from each other.

* * *

**_Year 2. Christmas Eve_ **

"So this is where you're working?" Minho turned to see Hyunjin leaning against the door to Room B of the dance studio he was working in. Minho had been fortunate to meet someone by the name of Bang Chan who offered him a job at the dance studio he owned. They needed choreographers and Chan had liked the way Minho danced.

"How did you find me?" Minho asked, raising a brow. "I asked Sung," Hyunjin said, walking towards Minho.

He looked around the dance studio.

"I can practice here during the holidays," Hyunjin said.

Minho laughed, shaking his head.

“It isn’t like the dance studio you have in your company,” Minho said. “Also, can’t you practice there?” Minho asked. Hyunjin took a seat at the front of the room, releasing a relieved sigh as if it was the first time he had sat down the whole day.

"It's only open a certain time. I can't practice in the house because it'll wake you and Jisung up," Hyunjin said.

"You have to pay though," Minho teased. Hyunjin shrugged, and said, "The sacrifices I have to make.”

Minho smiled and sat beside Hyunjin. "At least I'll get to see you all the time," Hyunjin said looking at Minho. “I’m sorry I haven’t been meeting you,” he added. Minho took his hands and intertwined their fingers together.

"We've expected it. We're busy, you especially," Minho assured him. Hyunjin hummed. "Once I debut, I'm just going to spend my free time with you," Hyunjin said.

"Sung is going to get jealous," Minho teased. Hyunjin laughed. They stayed in that position for a while. Changbin, one of the dancers, even peeked in, but they didn't move. They missed the times they had together — just the two of them. They knew, going into this, that the minutes they’d get to spend together would be scarce. Once Hyunjin debuts, it'll be even scarcer.

"Let's go on a date," Hyunjin suddenly said in the silence. Minho looked at him curiously. "When are you even free?" Minho asked.

Hyunjin shrugged, "Tonight," he said. Minho still looked at him suspiciously. Hyunjin rolled his eyes explaining, "I do have training the rest of the day - we're going to open the Christmas concert tomorrow, but I'm free tonight. I promise," Hyunjin said.

Minho waited for a few minutes before answering — thinking. He wanted Hyunjin to rest but at the same time, he did really miss his boyfriend. "Okay," he answered.

Hyunjin's smile reached his ears. He had missed this, and he had definitely missed Minho. "I have work here until 8 pm, and then I'm free after until the 26th," he said. Hyunjin nodded, excitedly.

"I'll pick you up here at 8:30 then, or nine. Let's just hope traffic won't be too bad," Hyunjin said. He started telling him about the things they could do that night and Minho just listened, watching Hyunjin talk animatedly about the plans he had for that night.

“Do you want to dance?” Hyunjin asked, standing up and dusting dirt off his jeans. “Now?” Minho asked. Hyunjin offered him a hand to stand. Minho took it and Hyunjin immediately led him to the centre of the room. 

“We don’t have music, Hyunjin,” Minho complained. 

“I’ll sing for you,” Hyunjin said, which only made Minho laugh. Hyunjin sang and they danced together. Minho just kept thinking about how much he loved this man. 

* * *

The minutes counting down to 8pm was too long for Minho. He had asked Changbin to switch shifts with him just so he could shower and change for the night.

"The guy with you... you never introduced him before," Changbin said when Minho walked out of the shower looking ready for his date that night. Minho smiled, "I didn't see the point of broadcasting it to everyone.”

"Have you been together long?" Changbin asked. He started munching on the open bag of chips, even offering Minho some but the latter refused. "We've been together since junior high. It'll be our fifth year this year," Minho answered. Changbin groaned.

"Five years? I can't even last with anyone for months," Changbin complained. He sighed as he took out a handful of chips and put it all in his mouth. Once he was finished eating, he turned to Minho with a curious look.

"What happens once he debuts?" Changbin asked. Minho raised his brow. "What do you mean?" "Well, idols can't date right?" Minho was quiet. He had thought about it, wondered about it too. The first time that Hyunjin had told him about his wanting to become an idol and having been contacted for training, the fate of their relationship was always the first thing Minho thought about.

Hyunjin hadn't said anything about it which made Minho hope that maybe it was fine. Still, the closer they got to Hyunjin's debut the more uncertain Minho felt.

"I'm sorry," Changbin started, "maybe I shouldn't have asked.” Minho shook his head and smiled as if saying that it was fine.

"We'll find a way," Minho said confidently, like that was the only way he could get himself to believe the words as well. "I mean, we've been through a lot already. I'm pretty sure this is nothing.”

"Hmm," Changbin voiced out, "you've already lasted five years. How much worse can it get?" He finished off the bag of chips before getting his things from the underneath the counter.

"I have to go now, have to go home for Christmas.” Changbin said. “Lock up, okay?" He put his bag over his shoulder and walked out from behind the counter. He went around the studio to check nothing was left plugged and all the lights were turned off before getting back to the lobby.

"See you on the 26th, Minho. Have fun on your date."

Minho watched Changbin leave. He waited for the door to close after Changbin before he decided to fix his things. He decided to leave the clothes he wore for practice in one of the lockers. Once 8:30 pm came, he locked the studio and waited outside.

* * *

Minho had his hands in his pockets looking around the street for any sign of Hyunjin. He didn't fault Hyunjin if he was late, besides, you couldn't really expect Hyunjin to be early with all his training, so Minho waited.

Half an hour came and still no sign of Hyunjin. Minho texted him asking where he was, but hadn't received a response yet. When 9:30 came, he decided to wait inside. The air was getting colder and Minho didn’t want to catch a cold. 

Another half hour passed and Minho decided to handle the cold with a little dancing. Still, after another hour, there was no sign of Hyunjin. 

Minho knew when to give up and this was it.

He sighed, telling himself that Hyunjin had to do something and probably couldn't get away.

He took out his phone and dialled a number he knew would answer.

"Hey, you're not home yet.” the person on the other line said. “Where are you?" 

"I was supposed to meet Hyunjin for dinner, but he didn't show," Minho said, trying to keep his voice level to not betray the disappointment he was feeling. Jisung, though, sighed in disdain.

"So you haven't eaten yet?" Jisung asked. Minho didn't answer. Jisung clucked his tongue in the silence before saying, "Wait there, let's eat out. It's almost Christmas, I bet there are a lot of stores still open."

* * *

Minho heard Hyunjin enter the house a few minutes after midnight. Jisung and he got home just a few minutes after eleven, having filled their stomachs with street food.

Jisung had fallen asleep quickly but Minho didn't have the same luxury. His phone had buzzed a few minutes prior to midnight with missed calls from Hyunjin and finally a text saying how sorry he was.

Minho didn't want to think too much about it and decided to sleep it off, but when the front door opened again a few minutes after midnight he found himself awake again.

The door to his room opened, and he pretended to be fast asleep. He heard Hyunjin's footsteps come closer to his bed, and he could hear him putting something down on the bedside table.

"Merry Christmas and happy anniversary, Min," Hyunjin whispered. There was a sort of sadness in his voice, and it took all of Minho's self-control to keep his eyes closed. He wanted to comfort Hyunjin, but he wanted to be selfish too — he was hurt as well. "I'm sorry for tonight. I lost track of time. I'll make it up to you." Minho felt Hyunjin stay standing beside the bed before he heard the latter start retreating out. Once the door of his room closed, he opened his eyes to see flowers and a present on his table.

* * *

**_Year 3. Christmas Eve_ **

"Can you believe it?” Jisung said through the phone. “Hyunjin's first concert. Last year he was just training like a madman," Minho had him on speakers as he was taking a break from teaching. Whenever Christmas Eve rolled around, the studio had always been the busiest.

"Do we go to the concert together?” Jisung asked. Should I pick you up?" 

Minho waved to a student who was just leaving before answering, "Yeah. Changbin is coming with — Chan was kind enough to let us leave by 6:30.”.

"Well, then, I'll see you later. Pray I finish my script by then, or I might just skip tonight.”

Minho laughed saying, "Come on, you're going to find a way to go even if you have to bring your laptop with you."

"Hmm, I should probably do that," Jisung said. Minho laughed again before ending the call and getting some more work done before he needed to go to Hyunjin’s concert. 

* * *

"Sung and you are coming together right?" Hyunjin asked over the phone. It was almost 6pm when Minho received a call from Hyunjin. Minho could tell he was nervous. 

"Yeah, we'll grab food on the way and then go directly from there," Minho answered. His last class had just ended, and he just finished showering. He was fixing his things when he suddenly felt an ache in his heart.

"Well, I can't wait to see you all. I feel so nervous," Hyunjin said. Minho assured him that everything would be fine. There was an itch in his throat and Minho started coughing.

"Are you alright?" Hyunjin asked. "Yeah, it's probably just the cold," Minho excused.

"You should get that checked," Hyunjin said, the worry in his voice obvious. Minho found himself smiling. "Tomorrow, Jin."

"Okay, I'll see you in a while alright?"

* * *

Jisung had arrived just a few minutes after 6:30. Changbin was the first to meet him in the lobby.

"You're late," Changbin said. Jisung smiled innocently. "I got lost," he lied to which Changbin rolled his eyes.

"You've been here a hundred times already, how did you get lost?" Changbin chided. Jisung shrugged. "The lights are different during Christmas." 

Changbin rolled his eyes again.

He fixed his stuff and stepped out from behind the counter.

"Where's Minho?" Jisung asked. 

Changbin shrugged, “Well, he’d been fixing his stuff before six. He’s probably still in the locker room.” He sat down on one of the waiting benches and released a relieved sigh as if he hadn’t been sitting the whole day.

Jisung looked in the direction of the lockers looking for any sign of Minho before sitting down beside Changbin.

"Should we check on him?" Jisung asked. Changbin shrugged.

"Hyunjin called after he finished showering. Maybe they're just having a conversation before the concert. I'm sure he'll be out in a while," Changbin said leaning his head back and closing his eyes. Jisung sighed but decided to listen to Changbin. He texted Minho that he was there already, hoping that his message would speed his friend up.

* * *

About thirty minutes passed and there was still no sign of Minho. Jisung woke Changbin up, who had fallen asleep and said that they should probably check on Minho. Changbin looked at his watch and, seeing how much time passed, agreed. There was no reason for Minho to be held back that much.

It was Jisung who first saw him lying down on the floor, looking very pale. Worry flooded his senses and he quickly rushed to his friend to see if he was breathing. 

There was an abrupt stop of footsteps behind him followed by a gasp. 

"Is he alive?" Changbin asked. Jisung checked his pulse, chanting in his head for Minho to be fine. He sighed when he felt a faint beating on Minho's neck. "Barely. Call an ambulance," Jisung instructed.

Changbin called 9-1-1 in panic, shouting at the other line to be fast. Jisung was stripping his jacket already trying to return some heat to Minho's body.

His phone started ringing but he ignored it. Changbin rushed towards him after the call with 9-1-1 and started taking his jacket off too. "You should probably get that," Changbin said glancing at Jisung's phone and seeing Hyunjin's name flashing on the screen.

"Minho's more important," Jisung just answered.

* * *

Hyunjin stood outside the dressing room looking at the hallway. He looked at his watch. It was almost eight and the concert would be starting any minute now.

He had been calling Jisung and Minho but neither had been answering.

"You alright," Sanha, one of his teammates asked. Hyunjin nodded, "I'm just expecting a few friends. They're not answering," Hyunjin said, showing his phone. Sanha patted his shoulder, "They've probably taken their seats already. We only have a few minutes before the concert starts anyway." 

Just then, their leader, Lee Daehwi, started calling them for a final message before they got on the stage. Hyunjin sighed and passed his phone to his manager before walking towards Daehwi. He just hoped that Jisung and Minho were already inside the venue.

* * *

"Are you not going to call your friend?" Changbin asked. Minho was in the emergency room so Jisung and Changbin had to stay in the waiting room.

"He won't see it. He has a concert," Jisung said. He was just waiting for news about Minho — Hyunjin could wait. Besides, he didn’t want to worry Hyunjin too in case whatever Minho was dealing with was just mild.

"He'll be fine. Minho's a strong guy," Changbin said though the quiver in his voice betrayed the worry he was feeling. "I'm going to call Chan to tell him to grant Minho a week's leave at least," Changbin said, standing up. Jisung didn't say anything and just watched him go.

He wasn't at all religious, but he prayed for Minho to be okay.

* * *

"Great job, everyone," the staff shouted as Hyunjin and the rest of the team walked out of the stage. They still had an encore to perform but Hyunjin wanted to see if he had messages from Jisung or Minho.

He didn't, unfortunately.

_What's going on?_ He thought. Hyunjin didn't want to worry but there was just that uncomfortable feeling in his gut that kept telling him that there was something wrong.

"Hey," Bomin, another one of his teammates, rushed towards him. "You better change already. They're shouting for an encore out there," he said rushing inside the dressing room feeling hyped. Hyunjin didn't want to drag his teammates down with a trivial feeling so, returning his phone to his manager, he went to change.

* * *

_ "His heart is weak. He's having a hard time pumping blood. It's best to keep him from doing too many extraneous activities."  _

_ "But he'll be fine, right?"  _

_ "We'll see with time." _

The conversation with the doctor replayed in Jisung's mind. Minho was already moved to the hospital ward. He was awake — at least that was a good thing.

"Did we miss Hyunjin's concert?" Jisung nodded sadly, "He'll understand. Did the doctor tell you what happened?" Minho looked at him uncomfortably but nodded. He looked away, as if Jisung didn't already see the grief in his eyes.

"Tell Hyunjin I collapsed because of stress. Don't tell him --" Minho stopped. Jisung could fill in the blank.  _ Don't tell Hyunjin the real reason. _

Jisung nodded. "I'll go home to get you some clothes. Changbin is outside to watch over you."

* * *

Jisung had been typing for the whole trip back to their apartment thinking of ways to tell Hyunjin. He didn't want to lie to one of his best friends, but he also didn't want to betray Minho. 

Sighing, he typed, "Had to leave early from the concert. Minho had a migraine — probably the stress. See you tomorrow."

* * *

**_Year 4. Christmas Eve_ **

Hyunjin still didn't know. It had been a year and either he didn't notice anything or he was far too busy to see anything — it infuriated Jisung.

Minho was growing weaker each day and Chan had kept him at a desk job, not even letting him do any teaching. Whenever Hyunjin was around, he was always smiling — pretending like nothing was wrong. Because of this, Jisung had to pretend nothing was wrong as well.

Hyunjin had a day off, and they were all hanging out in the dance studio where Minho worked. Jisung was busy discussing something with Changbin leaving Minho and Hyunjin in Room B. Minho was sitting down on the floor just watching Hyunjin show off the new dance moves he choreographed for their new song.

While he was dancing, Hyunjin would glance worriedly at Minho. His eyes were sunken and his smile never reached his eyes any more — as if smiling was a painful thing to do. Hyunjin noticed but he didn't ask. He told himself that if his boyfriend had wanted to tell him he'd say something.

After dancing for a while, Hyunjin sat in front of Minho, taking both his hands in his. He felt bones underneath his fingertips. 

_ Minho was sick _ . Hyunjin thought and the thought of it made his heart ache.

Hyunjin tried to control the tears from falling. He bowed his head to make sure Minho didn't see him crying. Still, Minho acted like he was fine. He tried to smile, consoling Hyunjin, but it wasn't working.

"How's work?" Minho asked, stroking the back of Hyunjin's hand with his thumb. Hyunjin kept his eyes on their intertwined fingers. "They're talking about a world tour next year. I can't believe we're big enough for a world tour," Hyunjin said.

"You deserve it,” Minho said. “You've been working so hard." Hyunjin looked up at him, and stared at his eyes. The usual fire that was there was gone.

_ Minho was sick. _

Hyunjin took a breath. "Want to come with? Be my manager?" Hyunjin joked. Minho gave him a sad smile but shook his head, "I can't, Hyunjin. My work is here."

"Not even for me?" Hyunjin asked. Minho bit his lower lip.

He felt guilty that he didn't feel like sacrificing his life for Hyunjin any more. Ever since he grew big in the industry, it felt like he was leaving Minho behind. Throughout the whole year, they had barely talked. Congratulations were given every time either of them achieved something — Minho with his promotion, and Hyunjin with all the awards his group had been receiving, but other than that, nothing was spoken between them. Hyunjin had even moved out from their flat because his agency said it would be easier for him to just stay with the whole team nearer the agency. With them living together, they could practice at night and Hyunjin would have no problem waking up in the mornings and going home at night.

He hadn't seen much of Hyunjin and even if he was manager to his boyfriend, he'd probably still not see him enough.

"I'm sorry, Jin," Minho said. He decided that it was time to think of himself, especially with the doctor's diagnosis. He might not have enough time any more, and he wanted to live the remaining moments of his life for himself.

Hyunjin stood up, wiping his hands on his jeans and nodded. "See you in the New Year then."

There was anger and disappointment in his voice that Minho recognized easily. He felt the sting at the back of his eyes, but he forced himself not to cry. Hyunjin grabbed his bags and stopped at the door. Minho didn't try to stop him. Hyunjin waited for a while, listening to the breaths they shared together. When he realized that their hearts didn’t beat as one any more, he opened the door and left.

* * *

Hyunjin’s team were celebrating Christmas when Hyunjin walked into the room. Daehwi was supposed to call him to join them but seeing the look on Hyunjin's face, he didn't try to stop him.

"Is he okay?" Felix asked. Daehwi shrugged, scooping some more mashed potatoes on his plate as he watched Hyunjin retreat to his room.

Hyunjin stayed in his room, looking through his photos. He was looking at the photos of him, Jisung and Minho back in their hometown. Hyunjin had found it extremely comforting to look at these photos especially when he was having a hard time with training and touring.

It was them against the world.  _ Gosh, how stupid Hyunjin was. _ Jisung and Minho had continued on with their life, and he was being left behind. He didn't get the inside jokes any more, and he was always the last one to hear about news — like how Minho was sick.

He felt pathetic. Tears started flowing down his eyes as he recalled the first Christmas they had together as friends. He was new in the school — Minho and Jisung were already friends — and being Jisung's neighbour, Jisung invited him to a Christmas Eve dinner.

Christmas Eve had been an especially important day for them ever since.

Hyunjin wiped the tears away when he heard someone knocking on the door.

"Hey," Felix peeked inside the room. "There's a Han Jisung here for you. I just thought you should know," he said before closing the door, not even waiting for Hyunjin to respond. It took a while for Hyunjin to register what Felix said. When he did, he took his coat and walked out of the dorm with Felix shouting behind him that Jisung was at the parking lot.

* * *

Even from afar, Hyunjin could tell Jisung was mad. 

When Jisung saw him, he rushed towards him and punched his jaw. Hyunjin didn’t even have time to register the pain before Jisung took another swing.

When Jisung wanted to try again, Hyunjin stopped him.

"What the fuck?" Hyunjin shouted. Jisung glared at him and spit on the floor. Hyunjin started massaging his jaw when it seemed that Jisung wouldn’t take another swing.

"You fucking left him," Jisung muttered, "You knew and yet you still left him. You bastard." 

Hyunjin just stood there, letting Jisung yell at him. Because Hyunjin knew he deserved it.

"Minho is dying," Jisung admitted. Hyunjin’s breath hitched. The confirmation of what he already knew still broke his heart. He couldn't do anything but sigh, feeling the tears forming in his eyes. His knees felt weak, but he placed his hands on them to keep them from buckling.

"Don't you fucking cry, Hwang Hyunjin,” Jisung shouted “You don't deserve to cry.” He was crying too and Hyunjin couldn’t do anything about it. "He kept telling me not to tell you because it might distract you but you knew, didn't you? You knew he was sick.”

"It wasn't that hard to notice," Hyunjin answered.

"Then why didn't you say anything?" Jisung shouted.

"Because I wanted you to tell me," Hyunjin screamed out. He felt his throat break. "I thought we weren't going to keep secrets from each other. We promised," Hyunjin muttered. Jisung gripped his hair and grunted in frustrations.

"Secrets?" Jisung started, "We barely know you anymore, Jin. You come home acting all glorious and yet you don't talk about your life anymore," Jisung chided. "We find out about your life from newspapers, and interviews. We're not part of your life any more, Jin. Why should you be part of ours?"

"I'm trying -" Hyunjin started but stopped when Jisung interrupted.

"If you had been trying you would answer our calls, reply to our messages, even fucking greet us on our birthdays," Jisung said. "You're not the Hyunjin I know anymore.”.

"Then why are you still here?," Hyunjin asked. “Leave then,” he challenged. Jisung scoffed, "I will. Don't even try to contact either of us again," Jisung said walking away.

* * *

Hyunjin walked back inside the house with dried tears on his cheeks, a bruise forming on his jaw. His manager asked him what happened and insisted they pressed charges but Hyunjin ignored them.

Minho was dying, and he was probably not going to see him again.

* * *

**_Year 5. Christmas Eve_ **

It was Seo Changbin who reached out to Hyunjin. He came to their concert the night before Christmas Eve, even fighting with the staff just to talk to Hyunjin.

It took Hyunjin confirming he knew Changbin for the staff to let him through.

"Jisung told me not to call you but Minho is looking for you," Changbin said when the guards let him pass by.

"Jisung said I shouldn't see him and Minho again," Changbin scoffed. "Be stubborn, will you? Minho doesn't have much time — he needs you." 

There was a heavy feeling settling in his stomach but Hyunjin was determined. That's how Hyunjin ended up admitting his relationship with his whole agency and his teammates. He didn't care about the possibility of being kicked out of the team, he wanted to see Minho.

Fortunately their CEO was kinder than most and had left them to be, but a punishment would follow. He was allowed to leave for the day. Once everything was settled, he took a deep breath and went to visit Minho. 

* * *

He arrived at the hospital a few minutes before 10 in the morning on Christmas. He couldn't get himself to take a step when he had arrived, not knowing what to do when he would see Minho or Jisung again. His heart was hurting and his legs felt like jelly. He didn’t know if he was ready for all this. 

"Are you just going to stand there?" Hyunjin turned to see Jisung, with his arms crossed, leaning on a pillar. "I knew you'd come. Changbin told me.”.

"Minho won't come to you, so if you want to see him you better move and come in. His room is 204." Jisung left him standing there and walked inside the hospital. Taking a deep breath, Hyunjin followed.

* * *

Hyunjin didn't see Jisung when he got to the second floor. It was a good thing. After their fight last year, Hyunjin didn't really know what to say to apologize to his friend. Even if Jisung threw the punches, it had always felt like it was Hyunjin's fault.

When he arrived in front of the room, he willed his hands to open the door, but they stubbornly stayed at his side. He hadn't seen Minho in a year, and he wondered how much different Minho looked.  _ Did he look sicker? Did he become too thin that just to look at him would feel like breaking him already? _

In his hesitation, he didn’t notice the door open.

"Oh." A man he didn’t recognize stood in front of the door. "You're Hyunjin aren't you?" the man said. Hyunjin heard a shocked exclamation from inside the room.

"I'm Chan," the man said.  _ So this was Bang Chan. _

"It's nice to meet you," Chan said. He stepped away from the door to let Hyunjin in. Minho looked fine — healthy even. It didn't look like he was dying. Chan walked towards Minho's bed, and sat at the side.

"I'll get you some food, love. I'll be back after you talk." Chan smiled at Hyunjin before offering him a chair. Once Hyunjin had sat down, Chan had left.

"Love?" Hyunjin found himself asking. Minho bowed his head in guilt and refused to look at Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin snickered. "Of course, I wouldn't expect us to still be together after I left like that," he said. Minho sighed, and looked at him sadly.

"He has been taking care of me for two years, and in the past year it just sort of happened,” Minho said, “It doesn't really matter, does it, I'm leaving soon anyway." Hyunjin felt his heart tighten. Minho had moved on, and yet he was dying. Both seemed like a stab in the heart to Hyunjin.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Hyunjin asked. Minho smiled sadly, "There were so many things you had to think about, Jin. I didn't want to burden you with my life," Minho admitted.

"I told you I'd drop anything for you," Hyunjin countered. 

"But if I asked you not to, would you have listened?" Minho remarked. Hyunjin bowed because he would’ve. 

During the beginning of their relationship, Hyunjin had promised to do whatever Minho asked of him — even if Minho told him to leave because that was how much he loved Minho.

"Would you stay with me today as my best friend?" Minho said and because Hyunjin promised, he nodded.

* * *

Hyunjin never left his side even when Chan came back with their food. They talked about what had happened the past year — exchanged stories of everything that hadn't been said. Hyunjin even bonded with Chan even a little. The older man didn't seem to be bothered that Hyunjin didn't leave or that he had been holding Minho's hand for the past few hours.

Changbin had even dropped by. Only Jisung hadn't made an appearance.

"You should talk to him," Minho said when Chan and Changbin said they needed to go back to the dance studio. Hyunjin sighed. "I don't think he wants to talk to me," he admitted.

"You're just both very stubborn," Minho said, clicking his tongue. "I won't be here to stop you two from fighting anymore so you better make up, or I'll haunt you both," he teased. Hyunjin didn't smile. Minho placed a comforting hand on Hyunjin's face, and started tracing the tired lines on his face.

"Wasn't it supposed to be us against the world?" Hyunjin said. "I'm sorry I couldn't fight the world from taking you," he added. Minho smiled, his smile barely reaching his eyes. Hyunjin tried to remember that smile, so that when he needed to he could replay it in his head.

"It's still us against the world, and you and Sung can only conquer the world together," Minho said. "Talk to him, Jin. Achieve the dream we always had for each other — chase the dream I wouldn't be able to do.”

Hyunjin nodded, promising to Minho that he would.

* * *

Hyunjin found Jisung at the rooftop. A garden was placed there for patients to still be close to nature despite not being able to go out the confines of the hospital.

"He told you that we should make up, huh?" Jisung said when he felt Hyunjin beside him.

"I felt like he had told you the same thing," Hyunjin said.

"For the past year," Jisung said, and scoffed. 

"I'm sorry,” Jisung started, turning around and staring at Hyunjin, “I acted rashly last year. I just couldn't imagine losing him, you know.". Jisung turned back around to look at the sky when Hyunjin stood beside him. He found himself crying. 

"It was harder the past year without you to throw the blame to," he admitted, "or punch," he added with a slight giggle.

Hyunjin found himself laughing, sadly.

"I missed you too,” Hyunjin said. “There were so many times I wanted to quit, but I persevered because where would I be then if I quit? This wasn't only my dream — Seoul was our dream together. I wanted to continue for you."

"Look how that turned out," Jisung said, wiping the tears off his eyes. 

They continued looking to the sky not staring at each other. Neither were good at sentimentality, especially just between the two of them.

"I'm planning to take a hiatus — to take care of Minho and build the friendship we lost," Hyunjin said. "For the first time I'm putting you both first."

"Chan wouldn't like that," Jisung teased. Hyunjin bowed his head, and sighed. Jisung laughed, bumping his shoulder with Hyunjin, "I'm kidding. He understands how important you are to Minho. He won't take that away from you," Jisung said.

"It's us against the world now, Sung," Hyunjin said.

"Yeah," Jisung agreed. "And the world better be prepared."

* * *

Hyunjin kept to his promise. The agency had announced his temporary hiatus the night of Christmas. He packed some of his stuff and moved back with Jisung for a while, promising that they’ look after Minho together. Jisung had decided to move back to the province and start his film career there when everything had been settled in Seoul. Still, he and Hyunjin promised to always support each other and be at each other's premiere no matter what happens.

* * *

A few days after Christmas, Minho told them that his last wish would be for the three of them to be together, at the dance studio he worked at.

"I'm going to miss this place," Minho said as Hyunjin wheeled him inside. Chan had closed the whole dance studio so no one would disturb them. A table was set up in the middle of the studio, and like the Christmas Eve before they left for Seoul, there was a bowl of salad, a stack of sandwiches and a pack of root beer.

Minho smiled, taking his rightful position between Hyunjin and Jisung. They both opened their can of root beer after Minho opened his. Minho raised his can and cleared his throat, "A toast to the three of us," he started. He looked at Jisung, "To an amazing film director who will inspire people with the work he will create, and show the people the beauty of life." Jisung made a contented purr making Hyunjin and Minho laugh. Minho then turned to Hyunjin, "To an amazing artist, despite the hardship of life he persevered. May you be an idol the people will look up to." Hyunjin smiled.

"And me - a person who tried his best," he said in an afterthought.

"You're amazing Lee Minho, and I couldn't ask for a better friend than you," Jisung said.

"Here's to us," Hyunjin said. He clinked his can to both Minho's and Jisung's and the three of them drank.

After they finished drinking, Minho sighed. 

“You know what I regret the most?” he asked. Jisung and Hyunjin looked at him curiously, “We never experienced the first snowfall together.”. 

“Yes we have,” Jisung remarked. 

Minho shook his head, “I mean the first snowfall. When the snow just starts to fall, not when it already fell.” 

“Why is that so important?” Hyunjin asked. Minho smiled, and cocked his head to the side — something he did when there was something he was going to share that he was excited about. “Because whenever the first snow falls, everything gets better.” 

* * *

**Present**

Hyunjin didn’t know how long he stayed on the floor of the dance studio crying and remembering the last five years. His tears had dried up already, and he felt tired. 

“Are you crying?” Hyunjin jumped looking around to see who was there. He didn’t see anyone, and then he heard someone laugh. In the mirror, standing beside him was Lee Minho. 

“I thought you were only going to haunt me if I didn’t make up with Jisung?” Hyunjin said. He saw Minho smiling. 

“I’m the angel on your shoulder, Hyunjin. You wouldn’t get rid of me that easily,” Minho said. Hyunjin found himself smiling. Minho gave him a sad smile before taking Hyunjin's hands in his. Hyunjin didn’t feel anything beside him. He wouldn’t, of course — he knew that. 

“Let it go, Hyunjin. Let me be a mere memory. Stop blaming yourself for something you couldn’t have controlled. Be happy, and chase that dream of yours.” Hyunjin saw Minho squeeze his hand before letting go. “Promise me you’ll be happy from now on alright? Promise me you won’t cry over me again?” 

“Will I ever see you again?” Hyunjin asked. Minho smiled and shook his head, “I’m always in your memories, Jin. When you want to see me again just remember those.” 

Hyunjin took a deep breath and nodded. “I promise, then,” he said. 

Minho grinned and then cocked his head to the side. “Goodbye then, Jin. See me in your memories.” 

Once Minho vanished from the mirror the door opened behind him. “There you are.” 

Hyunjin turned to see Jisung grinning at him. “Come on, hurry. I have to show you something,” Jisung said, not even waiting for Hyunjin to say anything. Instead, he took his hand and dragged him out. 

Hyunjin was barely able to get his coat. 

He was putting on his coat, complaining to Jisung why he couldn’t wait before stopping and seeing what Jisung was so excited about. 

It was snowing. 

Hyunjin found himself smiling, and somehow, in his heart he knew, everything would be better. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you're reading this, it means you've reached the end. Sorry, and thank you for reading this through. I appreciate you all. Massive thanks to my beta, s-kiz who had helped me so much. You're the best. 
> 
> Also, the original prompter did say to either d-word Minho or make them break up so I went "Why not both?" hehe. 
> 
> Comment and Kudos if you like the fic. :)


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